Do You Sit on Your Hands Enough?

"Some 4-H leaders I know sit on their hands. They are helpful, capable, enthusiastic and love kids, but they sit on their hands. They tell me it's a habit that works very well.

"One of the most difficult things a 4-H leader must do is allow other people to use and develop their abilities. Whether it's a nine-year-old future chef, a first year leader, the first meeting for the club president or a committee planning the club booth, the 4-H leader is often tempted to help. Sometimes he/she should sit on his/her hands.

"We all know it's simpler and faster for the person who already knows how to do something to do it again. The muffins will be gently rounded instead of peaked, the meeting will be given by an experienced leader, the club business meeting will go smoother, and the booth will get a neatness award. But what happens to people in the process? Johnny doesn't remember to stop stirring. Mrs. Brown still hasn't had a meeting alone with the members. The club president decided Mr. Leader can do it better so why bother to try. The members of the club booth committee still haven't had the experience of carrying out an idea as a group.

"It's not easy to decide when help is needed and when help would stifle developing abilities in another person. Think about your last project meeting. Was there a time when you reached in to do something yourself, when a few directions to a member would have allowed him/her to do it him/herself? Did you hurry to clean up because the members take too long? Should Johnny try to do something he really wants but you think it is too difficult? There are no "right" answers. But consider it. Do you sit on your hands enough?

"I hear --- I forget. I see -- I remember. I do -- I understand."

— Karen Stamm, Milwaukee County Youth Agent