University of Illinois Extension

Volume 1, Issue 3

Using Temperament Traits to Guide Behavior

Six year old Justin is always a disruption at the Cloverbud group meetings. He seems unable to sit quietly in a chair and participate in the group activities. Justin is constantly running, jumping and grabbing items belonging to other children and adults. Discipline techniques that work well with the other children don't appear to work with Justin at all. Justin is not a bad child - just a child with a difficult temperament!

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in her book Raising Your Spirited Child identifies five temperament traits that "spirited children" usually have in common. Compared with the "average" child these "spirited" children are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive and slow to adapt. Many, but not all spirited kids are also irregular, energetic, cautious in new situations and serious. Let's take a closer look at some of the common behaviors and coping skills for traits that make up most "spirited" children.

Intensity
Intensity is the amount of energy a child uses to express emotions. A high intensity child:

  • Laughs and cries loudly
  • Is physically dramatic and passionate
  • Is easily frustrated
  • May scream so loudly it hurts your ears
  • Turns purple when upset

Some common problem behaviors of intense children include: swearing and yelling, calling people names, taking toys away, and creating a disturbance. Adults need to help intense children learn to tone down reactions and ring down the intensity. Here are some suggestions:

  • Read the cues
  • Determine where this child "gets his energy"
  • Help the child discover what is calming and soothing:
      • 1. exercise (take a walk)
      2. repetitive motion - especially of the jaw (chew gum)
      3. deep breathing (blow bubbles)
      4. humor (make a funny face)
      5. change the scene or activity (especially things like a back rub, a warm bath, or playing with dough)

Persistence
Persistent kids are like the popular "bunny" commercial - they keep on going. They don't leave a job unfinished or take "no" for an answer. A persistent child:

  • is committed to goals
  • doesn't stop an activity easily
  • is certain he's right
  • insists on doing things herself
  • continues despite difficulties
  • has plans (which may be different than yours)

Keep in mind the same persistence that can result in big tug of wars with you may help this child reach high goals and become a great success. Here are some ideas to help avoid the power struggles:

  • ask about plans
  • try to make a "no" into a "yes"
  • help the child find stopping points
  • allow enough time (or don't start what can't be finished)
  • teach the child to "give me five" (give me five other ideas and let's choose one)
  • set clear rules
  • watch out for interruptions (like the phone)

Sensitivity
Sensitive kids may respond to the slightest noises, smells, lights, textures, or changes in mood. They can be easily overwhelmed by crowds, shopping trips or even fun filled trips to amusement parks. Sensitive children may notice:

  • seams in their socks or tags in their clothes
  • the smell of the tissue
  • when green beans have touched the mashed potatoes
  • uneven pictures or colors that don't match someone tapping or chewing

Sensitive children are caring, loving, selective, and notice things other people don't. Adults can help sensitive children by identifying the child's triggers and believing him when he tells you what bothers him.

  • Name the sensations and affirm the feelings.
  • Eliminate or avoid triggers.
  • Reduce or make adjustments if triggers can't be avoided.
  • Practice coping with what can't be changed.

Perceptiveness
How easy is it to distract a child? Perceptive kids:

  • notice everything
  • find it hard to focus with too much noise
  • lose things
  • forget what they were doing because something else catches their attention
  • have to look at every bug and leaf
  • get exhausted from paying attention during classes

Perceptive children are very observant and inventive. They can figure out how to "make do" and enjoy the little things in life. They can learn strategies to help them stay focused.

To help the perceptive child:

  • Change the environment (try to reduce distractions).
  • Make eye contact when you give instructions.
  • Keep instructions simple-one step at a time.
  • Tell him what he can do.
  • Use images and actions to communicate (actions speak louder than words).

Adaptability
How well does the child adapt to changes in plans, new routines and new ideas? Does the child like surprises? For some children transitions from one thing to another or changes are challenging.

A slow adapting child:

  • may refuse to comply
  • needs time to adjust to changes
  • can be bossy and stubborn
  • may be quick to anger and slow to get over being angry

Lots of little changes can increase the intensity and frustration in the child. Adults can help by recognizing the signs when a child is not adapting and help bring down the intensity.

To help diffuse the intensity:

  • Eliminate nonessential transitions.
  • Warn the child (discuss plans ahead of time).
  • Acknowledge their feelings.
  • Give them time to stop.
  • Help them "shift."
  • Start the new activity with them.

Understanding a child's temperament as well as your own can help you avoid pitfalls and develop discipline strategies that "fit." You can gain insight into why a child behaves in certain situations. You might also understand why certain behaviors really annoy you.

Knowing what to expect gives you power by removing the surprise. Instead of thinking, "What? How dare he! You can think, "Oh yes, I could predict this would happen." Remember, when you can predict, you can plan. It also enables you to help a child learn the skills needed to get along in the world.

This article has briefly covered five of the ten temperament traits identified by researchers, Stello Chess and Alexander Thomas. The remaining five traits (regularity, mood, activity, approach to new things and emotional sensitivity) will be highlighted in a future Cloverpatch issue.

For additional information on temperament traits checkout the following:

Chess, Stella and Thomas, Alexander. Know Your Child.- An Authoritative Guide for Today's Parents. New York: Basic Books. 1989.

Budd, Linda. Living with the Active, Alert Child. New York: Prentice-Hall. 1991.

Sheedy Kurcinka, Mary. Raising Your Spirited Child.- A Guidefor Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic. New York: HarperPerennial. 1991.

Turecki, Stanley. The Difficult Child. New York: Bantam Books. 1989.

Preventive Ounce website on temperament - www.preventiveoz.org

Lisa K. McMurtry, Family Life Educator, University of Illinois Extension Manteno Center.

Source: Temperament Traits: Clues to Understanding the Difficult Child by Debbie McClellan, Family Life Educator, University Of Illinois Extension.

Ant ANTatomy

Materials: Large white marshmallows (three per child), pipe cleaners, (eight short or four long per child), toothpicks (two per child), scissors, and non-toxic washable markers.

Tell the children they are going to make their own ant. Give each child three marshmallows, two toothpicks and four long or eight short pipe cleaners. Have the children color their marshmallows any color(s) they want. When the marshmallows are dry, connect them using toothpicks, to make the head, thorax, and abdomen of their "ant."

Using scissors, have them cut the long pipe cleaners in half, making eight pieces. If smaller pipe cleaners are used, each child will need eight, and will not need to use scissors. Have them put the pipe cleaners (ant's legs) in the middle marshmallow (thorax), with one on each side of the thorax closest to the "head," and two on each side of the thorax closest to the "abdomen." After attaching their legs, have them attach a pipe cleaner to their ant's head, one on each side, close to the inside, above the mouth. Finally, to finish their ant, have them draw a small eye above each antenna.

Application: By doing this activity, the children should learn the three body parts of an ant, the number of legs, and the number of antennae an ant has. They should also learn where these appendages are on an ant. Ask the children the following:

  • How many legs does their ant have?
  • How many antennae does their ant have?
  • Discuss what ants use their antennae for.
  • How many sections are there to an ant's body?
  • Have them name the three sections.

Source: Cloverbud Connection, Ohio State University Extension, Spring, 1999.
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